At least, I'm not.
Chris Rose said that everybody here is on Xanax or something. I need to be. I'm so friggin' bipolar now, I could have my own Lifetime movie.
Anybody else you know cries at least 5 days a week? Me neither.
I just about busted into tears in the friggin Whole Foods tonight. Of course, there, it was because of the prices.
I just don't have anything to say to anybody that isn't from NOLA. Everything else is just so trivial.
Yesterday I was looking at boats. Well, there are no used boats that aren't destroyed from K. There are no docks, anyway.
So I looked at inflatable boats, just in case another one comes this hurricane season. That will get the emotions going. They all cost too much, and I don't know that any of them are worth it, especially if it's just going to be a rescue boat.
Or even worse, a salvage boat.
I worry for my children. I really want them to grow up here, but hell, since they've stalled so long rebuilding the levees, we have our evac plan in place. If another one hits, I don't know if there will be anything to come back to.
The other night, a bunch of us were talking, and somebody was talking about getting a great job offer from somewhere. We all related the great job offers we had received.
Will later said something like "I have seen you three continue drinking when any respectable person would have already passed out."
I responded by saying "We're the dregs. Everybody wants us, but we foolishly want to stay here. This is the only place we fit in, and hey, we don't even fit in here. Who else have you ever seen get kicked out of Pat O'Brien's? Kicked out of the Half Moon? Who mooned a cop from the balcony? For some of us, the only reason we are not considered alcoholics is because we live in New Orleans."
That's why we stay. I am just so depressed about everything. I'm getting overwhelmed. What if New Orleans is gone? Where the hell can people like me go? Australia?
I've been dubbed Angry Ashley, but I'm not always like this. At least I'm usually civil.
Here's an email I sent to Carlos Mencia, after viewing a clip where he slammed New Orleanians:
After your remark about New Orleans culture and rebuilding, I can only hope that an earthquake kills your entire family. Then, maybe, you'll be "preserving your culture" in Kansas or something.
Welcome to our world, bitch. If the federal levees had been built properly, then I may still enjoy your comedy. As it is, you insulted us, and the only way you can feel our pain is by having your family die.
Cold, but passionate. Unbelievably, he responded
Some of my family did die in some of the hurricanes in central America in the past. That is why I preserve my culture in USA, thousands of miles from the eye of the storm. Telling you to move far from danger is not fucked up on my part. I actually want to save lives.
He's honest, and I believe this is sincere. But he just doesn't get New Orleans.
Oh, and he lives in LA...
Why would I speak to a total stranger like this? I'm not well.
We are not OK.